Coaching Soccer For Dummies Page 8

  You should approach the preseason meeting with the same effort and enthusiasm you display when going for a job interview. Your first impression leaves a lasting imprint on the parents. No one expects you to be a professional speaker, but being able to clearly explain your thoughts on the topics you’re covering demonstrates how deeply you care about the upcoming season and reinforces your commitment to each child on the team. Parents appreciate your initiative, recognize your caring, and feel much more at ease turning their children over to your coaching this season. (Check out the “Overcoming anxiety when speaking in public” sidebar in this chapter for a few tips.)

  Aside from getting your shtick together, you need to consider a few of the nuts-and-bolts meeting-planning details:

  Location: You can hold the meeting at your home or at the recreation department. If you let the league director know that you want to meet with the parents of your team, he or she can make arrangements to reserve a room for you. Libraries may also have meeting rooms available.

  Timing: Most parents juggle chaotic schedules these days, so finding time to get together with everyone can be difficult. After you receive your team roster from the league, contact each child’s parents to briefly introduce yourself as the coach and let them know the date, time, and location of the parents meeting. Giving parents as much notice as possible may help them rearrange their schedules in order to make your meeting. Plan on spending at least a half hour, and no more than an hour, with this meeting.

  Contingency plan: Ideally, you want all parents to show up on your designated night, so stress the importance of everyone attending. If that isn’t possible, you may want to have a contingency plan. Consider holding a second meeting on a backup night; going over everything on the phone some evening; or, if all else fails, making arrangements to meet with the parents following the first practice of the season.

  We spend the remainder of this chapter covering the subjects that you may want to discuss with the parents. As you can see, you have a lot of information to cover, but try to keep the parents actively involved, and let them get to know you and one another. To accomplish this goal, include some time for

  Introductions: At some point during the meeting, have the parents introduce themselves and say who their children are, too. Although some of the parents may know one another, introductions are a good ice-breaker for everyone. Parents need to start socializing because they’ll be seeing quite a bit of one another during the season.

  1-on-1 discussions: The more comfortable the parents are with you, the stronger your relationship will be both with them and with their children. If you have time following the meeting, talk to the parents individually, and get to know a little about them.

  Explaining your coaching philosophy

  The most important topic you can address with parents is winning — more specifically, what your stance is on this very sensitive issue. Winning can be defined in a lot of ways. For young children involved in soccer for the first time, what the scoreboard says at the end of the game isn’t nearly as important as having fun with their friends, getting some exercise, enjoying the experience of participating in the sport, and using some of their newly developed skills. Countless studies indicate that children are far less concerned about winning — especially at the younger levels — than their parents are.

  Your goal is to introduce the kids to the basic concepts of the game — like dribbling and shooting. You want to make it fun enough for them that they can’t wait to get to practice to work on their skills and they look forward to putting that colorful jersey on when game day arrives.

  By letting parents know your philosophy and how you’re going to approach the season ahead of time, you give them ample time to find out whether this team is the appropriate setting or has the appropriate level of competitiveness for their child. This approach works out well for all concerned.

  Emphasizing good sportsmanship

  Children are easily influenced by the behavior of their parents and other adults at their athletic events. Youngsters who see parents yelling and criticizing officials and opposing coaches or even other players on the field begin to learn that this type of behavior is acceptable. Part of your role is to stress the importance of good sportsmanship by your players at all times — and the same goes for parents.

  If you get the parents to understand the importance of being models of good sportsmanship at all times — before, during, and after games — the youngsters will follow in their footsteps. Clearly explain that all comments to all participants (children, including opposing players; coaches; officials; and other parents) should be positive and encouraging, never negative or insulting.

  A positive approach can be extremely difficult for some parents to follow. For many of these parents, this season is their first time back at an athletic field since their high school or college playing days, and all sorts of competitive juices and emotions can begin surging through them. Toss into the equation the fact that they’re watching their own flesh and blood competing against other children, and it can become a pretty combustible mixture. In addition, many parents, without even being aware of it, perceive how well their child performs on the soccer field as a reflection of how good they are as parents. So, the more successful the child, the more impressive the parent looks in the eyes of other parents. (We discuss this mindset in greater detail in Chapter 19.)

  Just as you want to clarify the need for positive feedback, you want to be extremely clear with parents on what type of behavior you won’t tolerate:

  Criticism of any sort directed at kids. Soccer isn’t fun when parents criticize their children for giving up a goal or making a mistake. This league isn’t the professional ranks, and negative comments infringe on the kids’ enjoyment and detract from their ability to perform at their best.

  Shouted instructions. All the coaching needs to be left up to you. Remind parents that children are easily distracted and don’t perform as well — or have as much fun — when they’re being screamed at to go get the ball.

  Arguing with coaches. You, as well as the coaches on the opposing sideline, have enormous responsibilities to fulfill during the game and can’t be bothered with criticisms regarding playing time or game strategy. If parents have a problem with you, they can arrange to speak with you privately after the game.

  Abuse of officials. Officials for the younger age groups are usually teenagers who, despite doing the best they can, are probably going to make plenty of mistakes. Yelling at a referee, no matter how bad the call is or is perceived to be, is totally unacceptable at all times. Let parents know that dealing with calls that go against your team is simply part of playing sports. Remind them that over the course of a season, the calls certainly balance out, and your team will receive its share of favorable rulings as well. If the parents don’t make a big deal about a call, the kids won’t even remember it by the end of the game.

  Let parents know that you never want to reach the point where you have to have them removed from the stands for inappropriate behavior, but that you won’t hesitate to do so if you feel they’re negatively affecting the game. Many leagues have policies in place for the removal of spectators, and you need to be aware of what those policies entail. (We talk about the importance of knowing your league’s policies and offer solutions on how to deal with problem parents in Chapter 19.)

  Detailing how you determine playing time

  Playing time can be a major source of grief for a soccer coach — if you aren’t prepared. If you clearly spell out to parents your policies regarding this area of the game, you drastically reduce the chances of conflicts occurring during the season.

  Dividing time equally

  No one likes to sit on the bench, but it’s part of the game. A big part of your job, though, is to make sure that no youngster’s fanny is stuck on that bench more than any of his teammates’. At the higher ages of youth soccer — typically, 14 and above — the bulk of the playing time is divvied up among the team’s best
players. (That’s also the case with competitive travel teams that, depending on the community, sometimes offer kids as young as 10 years old the opportunity to play. See Chapter 20 for details.) But for youngsters just learning the sport or kids who have only a season or two of experience under their belts, stick to spreading around the playing time as equally as you can. In the long run, everyone benefits from this approach, which is why most rec leagues have equal-playing-time policies in place. These policies ensure that every child who straps on shin guards, regardless of his skill level, receives as much playing time as his teammates do.

  Most parents will be comforted to know that you’re doing your best to distribute playing time equally throughout the season, regardless of each child’s skill level. At young age levels, a child who can kick a ball harder or run faster doesn’t merit more playing time than another child who isn’t nearly as skilled. Some parents may grumble upon hearing this news, especially if they believe that they have a budding superstar on their hands and that you’re hampering their child’s development by surrendering his playing time to a less-skilled teammate.

  Rewarding players who practice

  Frequent and unaccounted-for absences can create chaos when you’re trying to put a team together to work cohesively as a unit. When you meet with the parents, stress how important it is that their child regularly attends practice and that having children going AWOL during the week can create havoc with your practice plan and wreck the team unity you’re trying to build.

  In some situations during the course of the season, children are going to miss practices during the week but show up on game day ready for action. Let parents know that you adhere to a strict policy: Players who regularly attend practices receive equal playing time during games, but youngsters who show up for practice only occasionally receive limited playing time.

  A child’s playing time shouldn’t be affected by valid reasons for missing practice, however. Let the parents know that the following reasons don’t jeopardize the child’s standing with the team, and encourage the parents to call and let you know ahead of time when their child isn’t able to attend practice:

  Injury or sickness: Certainly, if a child is dealing with an injury (whether he suffered it during a practice, a game, or some other activity), his standing with the team won’t be affected when he can return to play. A child who misses practice because of sickness shouldn’t face any ramifications either.

  Family vacation: Parents typically have vacations planned well in advance, and they need to inform you of the dates their child isn’t available as soon as possible. The last thing you want to do is show up for a game in the middle of the season only to find out that the three kids who play goalie are all on vacation. Consequently, you’re left scrambling to fill that slot with a child who could have practiced the position for weeks if you’d known those parents’ schedules ahead of time.

  Family emergency: Unfortunately, some instances are simply out of the parents’ control. A death in the family or some other family emergency may not allow them to contact you ahead of time. They may come up to you the following week at practice and explain the situation. Be understanding in these types of situations, and don’t penalize the child for something that was out of everyone’s control.

  Be very clear when presenting your rules. Players who practice will play, and players who don’t practice for unexcused reasons will see reduced playing time. You can be friendly — but firm — while presenting the rules. Let parents know that there are no exceptions, because it just isn’t fair to the rest of the squad, and be willing to stand by your policy during the season. At some point, a parent will probably test you on your policy, and if you give in, you’ll have to give in to everyone. Suddenly, your rules and policies carry no weight — and you’re giving the indication that you have no control of the team.

  “Who’s playing goalie?” and other potentially sticky positioning situations

  In introductory or beginning-level soccer programs, the playing field is smaller, the number of players per team is trimmed down, and the rules are modified. Often, games feature 4-on-4 or 5-on-5, which helps ensure that each youngster gets plenty of touches with the ball. This alternative is better than being stuck on a regulation field with ten other teammates where a child is lucky to kick the ball once during the game. At this level, soccer is often more about simply playing than positioning. Make sure that the parents receive this message at your initial meeting.

  New players, regardless of their age, need to gain experience playing all the positions. Take the time to help them develop their skills so they can confidently play these positions during games. Specialization is only for older children, ages 15 and above, who have been playing soccer for years and are involved in highly competitive leagues. These kids hone their skills in one or perhaps two positions that they excel at. Don’t treat your young players like the older, more experienced players.

  By moving children around the field, you not only give them a complete introduction to the game, but also keep their interest and enthusiasm level high. If people do the same things day after day in their jobs, with nothing new to look forward to, they become stagnant and disinterested. New challenges create excitement and boost interest levels, and the kids reap the benefits.

  The positions on a soccer team are as different as the youngsters who play them. Many of the positions require different skills, abilities, and personality traits than others. Although you want to introduce players to a variety of positions, don’t force a child into playing a position that she isn’t ready for. (For example, at the first game of the season, you don’t want to stick an extra-shy child at the goalie position, where having all eyes focused on him may be traumatic.) Also, never position your young players with the intent of fielding a line-up that gives you the best chance of winning while forsaking the kids’ development. If you focus on each player’s progress rather than the team’s win–loss record, everyone on your team ends up winning in the long run.

  Let parents know that you’re going to change the line-ups in order to acclimate all youngsters to the different positions on the field. That means that even though the team worked really well together last week, you’re not going to lock in and use that exact same line-up the rest of the season.

  Putting Together the Paperwork

  Virtually every soccer league requires that parents sign a series of permission- related forms before their child is allowed to participate in the program. Sometimes parents fill out these forms during registration, and other times the coaches have to secure the proper paperwork. Beyond the league paperwork, you can make your job easier and keep your sanity intact by distributing your own team packet of information to parents, including lists of rules and contact information.

  League paperwork

  The following forms are often included in the league-wide parent’s packet that you may have to hand out or secure. Although the content and style can vary from form to form, the purpose is generally the same:

  Parental/guardian consent form: This form states that there is a risk of the child getting hurt during practices or games and that the league isn’t responsible in the event of an injury.

  Most programs carry insurance against possible litigation. Be sure you ask about the league’s coverage and your own status under the policy. Many coaching organizations provide insurance policies for completing training programs, which serves as a valuable layer of protection when you take the field. In the unfortunate event that an incident occurs in which a child is injured, and his parents sue, you want to be able to demonstrate in a court of law that you went through a training program and did everything possible to properly prepare yourself for your responsibilities. Even if your league doesn’t encourage coaches to complete a training program, we strongly recommend that you complete one before taking the sidelines.

  Medical evaluation form: This form, signed by the child’s physician, basically states that the youngster is physically healthy and is
able to participate in the sport. If the child has a certain condition, such as asthma or diabetes, it’s listed on this sheet. (See the “Meeting Players’ Special Needs” section, later in the chapter, for information on working with kids who require special consideration.)

  Emergency-treatment authorization form: The child’s parent or guardian signs this form, which lists the names of (usually) three people to contact in instances where the child is injured and requires emergency medical treatment. The form may give the coach or other league personnel the authority to seek medical treatment for the child if no one can be reached.

  Team packets

  Distributing a team packet not only provides parents with convenient access to all the information they need this season, but also makes another great impression. Coaches who put in this much effort and go to such great lengths to include parents in every step of the season are rewarded with the parents’ respect, admiration, and assistance along the way. Include a page in the front that reinforces your coaching philosophy and reminds parents that they must be models of good behavior in order to help you ensure that every child has a rewarding experience this season. In addition to that first page, include the following elements in your team packets:

  A rules primer for parents: Most parents aren’t going to be as familiar with the rules and terminology of soccer as they are with those of other sports. You — and they — simply don’t have enough time to go over the rules of the game in a lot of detail on parents’ night without the meeting dragging into all hours of the night.