Coaching Soccer For Dummies Read online

  And take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. Approximately 85 percent of all volunteer soccer coaches have their own sons or daughters on the team, so you’re venturing into common parenting territory.

  Kicking around the decision with your kid

  Before you decide to grab the whistle and clipboard and assume the role of soccer coach, sit down with your child and gauge how she feels about you overseeing the team this season. If you don’t ask her how she feels, you’ll never know. Many youngsters are thrilled to have their dad or mom as coach, and if you see that sparkle in your child’s eyes when you bring the subject up, that makes all the time and effort you put into the season well worth it.

  On the other hand, some children — for whatever reason — aren’t going to feel comfortable with the idea and would prefer that their parents don’t coach the teams. Take your child’s wishes into account before making the decision to step forward.

  Here are a few tips to help you reach the right decision on whether you and your child are ready for you to pick up the coaching whistle:

  With your child’s help, put together a list of all the positives and negatives about being the coach. On the positive side, you may list that the two of you will be spending more time together than before and that, as the coach, you’ll ensure that your child and the rest of the team have fun as they learn new skills. Resolve the negatives by working with your child to develop solutions. For instance, your child may expect to play a certain position simply because you’re his parent. Explain that you must be fair to everyone and can’t show favoritism and that your child and his teammates will have an equal chance to play different positions.

  Examine your motivations. Don’t take on the task of coaching your son or daughter if your goal is to make your child a star. You must be willing to do whatever is best for your child’s overall development, and harboring thoughts of college scholarships and athletic stardom is simply a blueprint for trouble.

  Explain to your child that being the coach is a great honor. The fact that he’s “sharing” you with the other kids during games and practice sessions doesn’t mean you love him any less. Explain to him that your responsibility is to help all the players on the team. Taking the time to explain your role to your child helps promote better understanding and reduces the chance of problems arising after the season gets under way.

  After the two of you talk things through, take your child’s thoughts seriously. If he still isn’t comfortable with the idea, push your coaching aspirations to the side for the time being. You can revisit the subject with him the following season to measure his feelings. Just because he isn’t ready this season doesn’t mean he won’t want you guiding his team next season or at some point in the future. The last thing you want to do is turn your child off to the sport and make him uncomfortable.

  Focusing on family-friendly field rules

  If you and your child agree that having you grab the coaching reins is a good move, keep these tips in mind as you navigate through the season:

  Remember that you’re still the parent. Whether the team wins or loses, you have to step out of coaching mode and remember that first and foremost, you’re a parent — and that means asking your child whether she had fun and praising her for doing her best and displaying good sportsmanship. Take your child out for that post-game ice cream or pizza whether she scored a goal or tripped over the ball on a breakaway.

  Keep talking. To effectively monitor how the season is going, you want your child to understand that she can come to you with a concern or problem at any time. Just because you’re the coach doesn’t mean that certain topics are now off limits.

  Don’t push practice at home. If your child has a bad practice, you may be tempted to work with her on specific skills as soon as you get home. Never push your child in this direction. In casual conversation, ask her whether she wants to spend a few extra minutes practicing a certain skill that may be giving her a bit of trouble. If she does, that’s great, but if not, let it go. Pushing your child to perform extra repetitions can drain her interest in the sport.

  Never compare siblings. Let your child develop at her own rate. She should never feel burdened by your expectations to control or kick a soccer ball as well as her brother did at his age. This type of comparison can crush her self-esteem and smother her confidence.

  Praise, praise, praise! Be sure to praise your child’s willingness, understanding, and cooperation in this special venture. Coaching your child can be one of the most rewarding experiences you ever have, but it isn’t always easy.

  Be careful with car conversations. A lot of adults have the natural tendency to replay the game on the drive home, and that’s perfectly okay if the youngster is an enthusiastic participant in the discussion. But if the game didn’t go as well as you planned, refrain from dissecting every mistake, and don’t spend the ride probing the youngster for reasons why the team lost or why she didn’t perform up to the best of her ability.

  Refrain from pushing too hard. All parents naturally want their kids to excel, no matter what the activity. In a sport like soccer, sometimes parents go overboard and take their newfound coaching position to the extreme by viewing the position as a chance to control their child’s destiny. When this happens, the youngster’s experience is unfairly compromised because the parent typically pushes her harder than the other kids, demands more from her, and piles on criticism when she’s unable to fulfill the unfair expectations. When parents lose sight of the big picture of what youth soccer is all about, problems materialize that impact the child’s emotional well-being, as well as her interest in learning and playing soccer.

  Coaching your kid can be a great experience for both of you, but the job can feel a bit like walking a tightrope at times as you try to avoid two common traps that many coaches (especially coaches who are unfamiliar with their roles) tend to fall into. Ideally, your behavior should fit somewhere between these two extremes:

  Providing preferential treatment: Parents naturally lean toward showing preferential treatment to their own children, whether they realize it or not. Typically, they give their children extra playing time; shower them with more attention during practices and games; and assign them special duties, such as team captain. Showing favoritism throws your child into a difficult spot with her teammates and weakens team camaraderie.

  Overcompensating to avoid the preferential-treatment label: Coaches can also go too far out of their way to ensure that no one thinks they’re giving preferential treatment to their children. Quite often, the coach will reduce his child’s playing time or give his child less 1-on-1 instruction during practices. Taking away playing time from your child to steer clear of the favoritism issue does, in effect, create a negative atmosphere for your child. She will question why you’re punishing her unfairly.

  Game-day questions to ask your child

  Ideally, your child is looking forward to game day. Keep in mind that the conversations you have with your child on game day — whether at the breakfast table or in the minivan on the drive to the game — have the power to either minimize nervousness and ensure a fun and relaxed demeanor or to fuel stress and hamper your child’s ability to perform. Here are a few questions that result in positive game-day discussions:

  What are you most looking forward to about the game? Your child’s response speaks volumes about his state of mind and often provides valuable insight on the mood of the entire team. If your youngster seems overly uptight, the rest of the team may be as well. Perhaps this apprehension stems from the extra emphasis you’re unknowingly putting on this game or the way you’ve been interacting with the kids during practices recently. Listen to your child’s response, but also pay attention to the tone of his voice and his body language.

  What have you enjoyed the most about the season? The answer to this question provides some valuable information. If your child mentions a particular drill that you used way back in the second week of the season but haven’t used since, i
t may be something worth using at one of your upcoming practices because several other kids likely feel the same way.

  How about trying that new skill today, if you get a chance? I’m looking forward to seeing it. Genuinely and enthusiastically letting your child know that you can’t wait to see her put her new skill to use is a real confidence-booster. This comment shows your child that you’re pleased with how she’s picked up the skill, and it gives her that little extra impetus to want to use it during the game.

  Chapter 2

  Getting Organized

  In This Chapter

  Creating a coaching philosophy

  Understanding the specifics of your league

  Coaching a squad of young soccer players involves more than showing up with a whistle, a roster, and a trunk filled with soccer balls. In order to be one of those coaches whom kids look up to and look forward to seeing all season long, you have to do a lot of preparation prior to the first practice of the season.

  First, think about why you got involved this season, what you hope to accomplish, and what your approach is going to be to help your team get there. Have you assumed the coaching role because you genuinely want to help kids learn and develop skills in a fun and safe environment, or because you want to make a run for the league title? What’s your take on playing time, motivating players, and creating a positive atmosphere?

  This chapter considers those aspects, and many others, which form the basis of your coaching philosophy. Having a philosophy in place and sticking to it as best you can sets the tone for a good season. The league you’re coaching in also dictates a portion of your philosophy, which is why gathering as much information as you can about the league’s policies before you step on the field is important. Being involved in a league that promotes values that you want to impart to your team is critical for everyone’s enjoyment.

  Developing a Coaching Philosophy

  Creating a coaching philosophy is fairly simple. Living up to it all season long is the tricky part. What’s a coaching philosophy? Basically, it reflects the standards you set for yourself and your team, and it’s the foundation of your coaching values and beliefs.

  Entering the season without a coaching philosophy is like driving across the country without a road map. Sure, you eventually arrive at your destination, but not without wasting a lot of time and energy with wrong turns and dealing with unnecessary problems and aggravation along the way. A thoughtful coaching philosophy keeps you on the right track as you negotiate your way through the season. In the sections that follow, we introduce the various components to consider when developing a philosophy that stresses respect, sportsmanship, skill development, and safety.

  Even with a carefully planned philosophy firmly in place, adhering to it at all times can be difficult. Challenges show themselves when Billy’s mom confronts you halfway through the season about why the team isn’t winning more games or when Jennifer’s dad questions why the lesser-skilled kids are receiving as much playing time as the team’s best players. (Explaining your coaching philosophy to the parents before the season gets under way, which we discuss in Chapter 4, helps you steer clear of many of these potential headaches.)

  Your coaching philosophy speaks volumes about you — not only as a coach, but also as a person. Take the time to put some real thought into it; you’ll be glad you did. Lead your players in the direction you know is right. Strive to instill in them the values that you want your own kids to exhibit throughout their lives. Accomplish this goal, and regardless of how many games you win this season, you and your team will be winners in the truest sense.

  Tailoring your philosophy to your age group

  Although each child has his own unique strengths and weaknesses, all youngsters possess general characteristics that are dictated by age. Children are continually changing, and part of your responsibility as a coach is to know what to expect both physically and emotionally from youngsters at various age levels.

  Being fully aware of the general age-related differences we cover in the following pages enhances your coaching skills and your ability to relate to your team. It also ensures that you don’t favor the players on your squad who are more mature and skilled at the expense of players who are less skilled and developed.

  No matter what the age or skill level of your players, always be supportive and enthusiastic. Pile on the praise, and never stop encouraging them. This approach builds their confidence and self-esteem, and whether they’re 6 or 16, you give a gift that will last for years to come.

  Ages 6 and under

  Children in the 6-and-under age bracket have probably never played soccer before, and this season may be their first experience in an organized team setting. Your job is to introduce them to some of soccer’s most basic elements and whet their appetite for future participation. (We cover the fundamentals that you can focus on with this age group and the next in Chapter 9.) Children at this age generally aren’t concerned about how their soccer skills compare with those of the others on their team; they’re primarily interested in being with friends and having fun learning and playing the sport. Competition is usually the furthest thing from their mind, which is why most beginner soccer leagues don’t keep game scores or standings for this age group.

  Ages 7 to 9

  Youngsters in the 7-to-9 age bracket start focusing on mastering some of the basics of the sport. They crave feedback from coaches and parents on how they’re performing certain skills and how they’re progressing with new ones. They begin noticing their teammates’ abilities and skill levels. When coaches verbally recognize one of their peers for properly executing a skill, the kids want to earn that same feedback. The desire to compete carries much more prominence for some youngsters in this age range than others. Children who have older siblings may be particularly competitive because they’ve watched their brothers and sisters compete in soccer or other sports, and now it’s finally their turn to display their skills.

  Ages 10 to 12

  More than likely, children ages 10 to 12 have had some experience playing soccer in the past and are continuing with it because the sport has piqued their interest. Keep the positive momentum going by adding to their foundation of skills. Fuel their desire to continue playing by conducting practices that are both challenging and fun.

  Quite often, sports take on added importance at this juncture in their life, and they really want to do well. (For more on skills and drills with this age group, see Chapters 11 through 14.) As children hit this age range, many become more competitive, and winning and losing take on more importance in their lives. They begin embracing the challenge of putting their skills to the test and trying to outperform other kids their age. When they help the team prevail, they feel immense satisfaction accompanied by a unique feeling of accomplishment that can be attained only through the wonderful world of playing youth soccer.

  Ages 13 and 14

  Welcome to the challenging world of the teenager! Kids ages 13 and 14 have already developed many of the basic skills needed to play the sport, and now they want to improve on them. Children at this age are typically searching for their own personal identities as well, so try getting to know them on a personal level by learning who their favorite soccer players or their favorite soccer teams are. Of course, this tip is great for building special coach–player bonds with kids of all ages. (Feel free to turn to Part IV, where we cover offensive and defensive sets for older kids and drills that will challenge them.)

  Ages 15 and above

  Gaining the respect of your players is always important to your coaching success, and that’s particularly true for kids ages 15 and older. These teens have developed a real passion for the sport. They attend soccer camps, perhaps play in leagues year-round, and, in some cases, may actually be more knowledgeable in some areas of the sport than you are.

  If you volunteer or get recruited to coach this age group, don’t be scared! You don’t need to panic. Instead, welcome the chance to enhance your coaching abilit
ies, and embrace the opportunity to coach kids who have a deep-rooted love for the game. Be sure to let them know that you value their opinions, suggestions, and input regarding the team. A youngster’s passion for soccer is wonderful, and it actually helps make your job easier.

  Focusing on fun and skill development

  As a youth soccer coach, don’t let your vision of what’s best for your players become blurred by trying to win every game, grab the league title, and show off the shiny first-place trophy on your mantel at home. Your team’s win–loss record at the end of the season (if you’re coaching in a league that keeps standings) doesn’t define your success as a coach. For the true barometer of what type of coach you are, look at whether the kids learn skills, have fun doing so, and want to play for you again next season.

  Certainly, at the more advanced levels of play, winning takes on a more prominent role, and you shouldn’t sweep the concept aside because it’s a part of playing soccer. After all, doing well on a test in school is a form of winning. So is beating out ten other people for a job you really want. Winning is something that we all must attain in order to achieve some level of success in everyday life.

  But youth soccer coaches must exercise great caution. Children are highly impressionable. If they get a sense that winning is all that really matters to you, having fun and developing skills suddenly become secondary in their minds, and the season begins a downward spiral. After this descent begins, altering the season’s course and getting everything back on track becomes really difficult. When you’re coaching younger and less experienced children, focus less on wins and losses and more on teaching skills and ensuring that the kids are having fun playing and learning.